Happier in her Friends than Relations Read online

  Happier

  in her

  Friends

  than

  Relations

  Jayne Bamber

  Happier in her Friends than Relations

  Copyright 2019 by Jayne Bamber

  Formatting by Christina Moore at

  Moore to the Story

  Cover design by Jayne Bamber

  Cover artwork by Frédéric Soulacroix

  ***

  This book is a work of fiction. Any person or place appearing herein is fictitious or is used fictitiously.

  All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book, or portions thereof, in any form. Please do not reproduce or transmit this book, in whole or in part, by any means without permission in writing from the author.

  This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only, and may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please purchase your own copy.

  Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

  Acknowledgements

  ~~~

  There are many thanks that must be given, and dedications that must be made, for without such an outpouring of support, this project never would have come to full fruition.

  To my incredible mother, for nurturing my creativity and love of reading all my life, and for the enthusiasm you have shown in reading this, often refusing to discuss one chapter with me, as you have always been eager to read the next one undisturbed.

  To my best friend and Wootie, Valerie, for your long-time support and enabling of my Austen-mania, which has led me to joining the ranks of vagary authors. Bok bok, and tally ho!

  To my sister and friends for keeping me sane during my writing, and tolerating the abundance of redundant Austen-fueled rants that have consumed me for many months.

  To my incredibly helpful and insightful beta readers: Beverlee, who stuck with me start to finish, as well as Melanie, Nichole, Jennifer, Michelle and Michele, who helped along the way. And to Christina, an incredible editor and cover designer, a wonderful resource for brainstorming and six-hour phone calls.

  To the amazing online readers who kept me going week to week, demanding more, particularly the commenters who provided such ample and delightful speculation, feedback, advice and history lessons!

  And lastly, which I ought to have mentioned first, this book is dedicated to the memory of my grandmother, Shirley, the original writer of the family, one of the brightest souls this world has ever seen, and my guardian angel. In this, and so many other ways, I hope to keep your memory alive.

  Thank you, thank you, thank you.

  Jayne

  Prologue

  The several hours Elizabeth Bennet had to wait between learning of her elder sister’s engagement, and finding the opportunity to speak with her privately, felt like an eternity. The house had been in uproar since breakfast, when their odious cousin Mr. Collins, a dubiously welcome guest in their home these two weeks, had requested a private audience with Jane. While Jane acquiesced to Mr. Collins’ request with forbearance, Elizabeth had no idea that her sister truly meant to accept him, and was shocked when Mrs. Bennet fluttered into the drawing room less than an hour later, rejoicing over their good fortune. Jane and her intended had barely made an appearance, to receive the bewildered congratulations of her younger sisters, before Jane was promptly whisked away by her mother to make the requisite calls around the neighborhood, announcing the news.

  Mr. Collins was unceremoniously left behind by his future mother-in-law, and remained in the drawing room to extol, at length, on the anticipated virtues of his future life to his young cousins. Claiming the excuse of a headache, Elizabeth was the first of them to flee the uncomfortable interlude, and she remained out of doors, alone with her agitated thoughts, until her elder sister had returned.

  Elizabeth entered the room she shared with Jane and found her sister seated at the vanity, staring blankly at her own reflection; the sight of it tore at Elizabeth’s heart. She sat down on the bench next to her, covering Jane’s hand with her own. “Are you well, Jane?”

  Jane nodded absently, offering a thin smile. “Indeed, Lizzy, I am quite content.”

  “Jane, you cannot be serious. You cannot really tie yourself to that awful man!”

  Jane’s expression was one of innocent shock. “I am serious. It has been announced all over the neighborhood. And, truly, he is not so very bad, though I know you dislike him. He has made me an honorable offer.”

  Elizabeth let out a derisive snort. “Honorable indeed! As if he isn’t pompous enough already, he seeks to puff himself up even more by securing a wife who is far too good for him. And Mamma is so eager to see one of us settled that she does not care if it is to a foolish toad! No, Jane, you deserve better than that.”

  Jane recoiled, visibly distraught. “Lizzy, that is unkind. It was very generous of Mr. Collins to select a wife from amongst us.”

  Jane might have said more, but Elizabeth cut her off. “He likely knows that no other woman would have him! At least with us, in his mind, he has some chance of success, as he seems to think us so indebted to him. But you needn’t be, Jane, for you are five times too lovely to be wasted on such a man, when you could do so much better!”

  At this, Jane’s expression hardened, and she launched herself up from the bench beside Elizabeth, to pace the room. “Could I? I am two and twenty years old, I have hardly any dowry to speak of, and no other prospects. That northern gentleman who was rumored to be leasing Netherfield never came, and who knows what other opportunities may ever come our way. I cannot take any more chances, Lizzy. The truth is none of us may ever receive a better offer.”

  “You might! Tell Mr. Collins you need some time to think on it. You could go to London, stay with our aunt and uncle. Attend the theatre, the assemblies, and I am sure you should find some gentleman more worthy of you.”

  “No, Lizzy! I have given my word, I shall not go back on it. Would you have me gamble the fate of our family? We are entirely at Mr. Collin’s mercy when Papa dies, for he shall have this house! Would you turn away a chance to ensure our security?”

  Elizabeth shook her head emphatically. “No, Jane, I cannot believe this is the only way. And I would certainly never bind myself to such a man, no matter the cost! I should do anything else to avoid it—work as a governess, even—but never would I marry such a man.”

  “Then you are selfish, Lizzy! Our mother has always said so, and I never wanted to believe it, but you are a selfish, stupid girl! You are no better than Lydia, with her head full of love and officers, romantic notions that will do this family no good whatsoever! One of us must be practical.”

  Elizabeth stood and reached out pleadingly to Jane. “The rest of us, indeed, but not you—if anyone deserves to marry for love, it is you.”

  Jane swatted her sister’s hand away, her expression one of sheer torment. “Stop this! You must let go of this delusion that some rich gentleman will come along and sweep me off my feet. That my good looks will somehow save us all. That is not the way the world works, in all the years I have been waiting for Mamma’s fantasies to come true. This—this is reality. Mr. Collins. This is my chance to really save our family, and you would have me throw it away for some dream? I will not!”

  “So instead you will throw yourself away? You truly believe you have no other options, that there is no one out there that will see your worth? You are too good—”

  Jane interrupted before her sister could finish. “Why? Because I smile and
embroider pretty little nothings?” Her scowl grew deeper as her voice rose. “I am not special, Lizzy! I am simply the only one in this house with any sense of reality, with any sense of what is right! Perhaps I merely seem like such a good catch because of the company I keep! Our younger sisters run wild, unchecked—they are a scandal waiting to happen. Mary moralizes and lectures us more than our own parents, and is just as soon disregarded. You, Lizzy, are impertinent and headstrong. You somehow manage to have Papa wrapped around your little finger, for you are the only person in this house he treats with the slightest bit of respect. And Mamma! She has been chasing away suitors since I came out! Mr. Purvis, who wrote me all those poems when I was fifteen, might very well have done more, if not for her humiliating determination to catch him for me. And every year it gets worse; the older I get, the more desperate she grows, and it only damages my already slim chances. I have had enough!”

  Silent tears streamed down Elizabeth’s face as she helplessly watched her beloved sister come unraveled. “I did not know you felt this way,” Elizabeth whispered weakly.

  Jane took a deep breath before she responded, but though she had lowered her voice, the steel was not gone from it. “You only see what you care to see. But then, you are so very private yourself, I suppose it may never have occurred to you that some of us might actually wish to confide our feelings sometimes.”

  Elizabeth stammered, unable to formulate a response before Jane pressed on, her voice filling with bile once again, until she was nearly shouting. “Perhaps you do not care what I think—I daresay no one in this family does. It is enough that I am placid and tractable, and willing to go along with whatever is decided for me, but this decision is my own, it is what is needed, and I expect all my sisters to be grateful. You in particular, Lizzy. You should be thanking your lucky stars that northern gentleman backed out of the lease of Netherfield, for Mamma meant for me to have him, and then it would be you wed to Mr. Collins, if he would have you.”

  Elizabeth stared numbly, scarcely recognizing the raging harpy before her.

  “I will do what I must to save our family and secure our future, and all of you owe me a debt of gratitude, do you understand? One day I shall become mistress of this house, and you ought to pray, Lizzy, that day does not come soon, for I daresay my husband and I shall not be so forbearing as Papa. I strongly advise you to be long gone by the time that day comes, or it shall not go well for you. Indeed, you had better hope some single gentleman finally does let Netherfield, for I daresay it is your only chance, if you can curb your offensive behavior and not snub your nose at any respectable offer that comes along! When I am wed and gone off to Kent, it will be you who Mamma shall thrust at any gentleman she can, and you shall have no sympathy from me!”

  Disbelief washed over Elizabeth as she wept softly. As Jane continued to pace the room, Elizabeth sat still on the bench, hugging her knees to her chest.

  Jane rounded on her again, her ire rising at Elizabeth’s stunned silence. “You sneer at my choice, when you have no prospects of your own! Perhaps you shall end a governess after all. It would serve you right, for you have done nothing to deserve any better. Papa indulges you, and you expect the rest of the world to do so as well, but I will not! And when he is gone…”

  Elizabeth could listen no longer. It was one thing to bear the brunt of her sister’s unexpected vitriol, but she would not let Jane, or anyone else, speak against her beloved father. “That is enough,” Elizabeth shouted, standing up and stepping toward her sister. Though the shorter of the two, Elizabeth tipped her chin up and brought her face to within inches of Jane’s.

  “I know not what has come over you, or if I have ever known you at all, but from this day you are a stranger to me, Jane. Say what you will of me, I care not, but I shall not hear another word against our father. Do not dare to judge that man, for soon it shall be you, just like him, shackled to a partner you cannot respect, and what escape shall you have? You shall be well and truly trapped, Jane, and I dare say you will deserve every bit of the misery you will have brought upon yourself. Perhaps being mistress of this house and lording over your sisters will bring you some comfort in your wretchedness, but I shall certainly not be here to see it, I promise you that.”

  Elizabeth fixed one final glare on her sister, until Jane looked away, folding her arms in front of her chest. Without another word, she spun on her heel and stormed out of the room. The slam of the door was followed by a chilling silence.

  1

  Elizabeth hummed softly to herself, running her fingers pensively against the frosty carriage window as Hertfordshire disappeared in the distance. She had never been so relieved to leave a place in her entire life.

  “Come now, Lizzy,” her uncle cried. “Why the brooding, my dear? Off to London, to adventure, to the start of a new year, eh? What better way to lift your spirits?” He smiled indulgently at his niece, his eyes crinkling with good-humored affection. Edward Gardiner was a portly, genial man of five and thirty, possessed of engaging manners, high spirits, and an active disposition. Being ten years younger than his sisters, and sharing little of their temperaments, Edward Gardiner was more of a brother figure to his two eldest nieces. His good fortune both in business and in marriage had allowed him to indulge them much as an older brother would do, and his intellect and compassion had long endeared him to Elizabeth.

  Mrs. Gardiner nodded in agreement. “Truly, Lizzy, a couple of months away from home, and you will have put this whole sad business with Jane behind you. All will be well, dearest.”

  Elizabeth shook her head, refusing to believe it, too stubborn to even desire reconciliation. “I think not.” She turned her face away, glaring out at the snowy countryside.

  “I know it hurt, Lizzy, but Jane is a good girl. She cannot have meant the awful things she said. She was likely feeling quite overcome, for it is a difficult situation. Ever since she was fifteen, your mother has told anyone who will listen that Jane’s beauty will be the salvation of your family, that she is destined to marry well, thus providing for her younger sisters—or else, you will all ‘starve in the hedgerows’. After all that, it must have been a disappointment for her to accept, at two-and-twenty, that she will not make such a brilliant marriage after all, and that to save her family means to bind herself to a man whom she has, at one time or another, heard abused by her mother, father, and nearly all of her sisters.”

  A dozen bitter retorts were ready to spill from Elizabeth’s tongue, but her aunt was poised to cut her off. “This cannot have been easy for her.”

  Her uncle leaned forward and patted her on the knee. “Now Lizzy, I will tell you something that may shock you greatly. When I married your aunt, nearly ten years ago, your mother was quite determined that I should give the connection up.” When Elizabeth gasped, Mr. Gardiner nodded gravely. “Oh, she was vastly displeased with me. She had married a landed gentleman, you see, and so she raised her standards for all the family after that. She had it in her head that I ought to marry a gentleman’s daughter, and preferably one with brothers of the right age to someday have their heads turned by you girls. When I did not… Well, suffice it to say we had words.”

  “Oh! I never knew!” Elizabeth clasped Mrs. Gardiner’s hands in her own, overcome with mortification at the thought of her mother disparaging such an estimable woman.

  “But of course you did not,” her uncle cried, a twinkle in his eye. “You were only ten years old!” He smiled a moment longer at Lizzy, before his countenance grew serious. “But you see, Lizzy, it may be entirely possible that your mother is of the same opinion to this very day. But at some point, I imagine she has most probably very conveniently forgotten she ever disapproved at all. Somewhere along the way, she came to realize that she had to accept what she could not change, and that if she cared for me at all, she would have to simply learn to like my dear Madeline, or at least to cease disparaging her so openly.”

  Elizabeth let out an indignant huff at the unpalatable comparison
to her mother. “I see what you are about, Uncle. But you have married the most lovable creature on this earth, while Jane has married the most repellent!”

  Mr. Gardiner suppressed a smile. “Either way, my dear, Mrs. Collins has made her choice. You can despise her for not choosing a life more like what you had imagined for her, or you can accept her choice and make your peace with it. Is that not the very reason you come to London with us? You shall put this whole dreadful mess behind you. You are the Miss Bennet now, and you must look to your own future.”

  Her uncle watched her with bemused affection as she considered his words. Elizabeth was not ready to forgive Jane for throwing herself away on such fatuous toad, nor for the horrible things Jane had said to her. She looked between her aunt and her uncle, who both stared expectantly at her, as if awaiting the next round of argument. Elizabeth arched an eyebrow and said, “Well, if I have to make peace with what has happened, as you say, at least I will be doing so amongst the diversions of London, and not in some remote parsonage in Kent with illustrious dowagers inspecting the very shelves in the closets!”

  Her uncle threw his head back and laughed. “That’s my Lizzy. Well now, you must make the best of your journey. Your mother has told us in no uncertain terms what she shall think of our talents as proper guardians if we return you home in the spring unmarried still, and it has given your aunt and me a terrible fright.”

  It was Elizabeth’s turn to laugh, and she did so easily, though she knew her uncle’s jest was probably not far from the truth. As pleased as her mother had been by Jane’s marriage, she had not wasted anytime in transferring her expectations—marriage to a wealthy gentleman—to Elizabeth as soon as her travels to London had been arranged.

  “I am sorry to say, you certainly have your work cut out for you with such an obstinate, headstrong girl.”

  “Indeed, we are quite prepared for the arduous task at hand, Lizzy. Your uncle and I are acquainted with several gentlemen in possession of large fortunes, who must be in want of a wife.”